Its funny how when you look back at the past and you think of the past, fond memories start flooding your head and all you remember are all the good times that you've had with that person and everything that the person has said or done which is bad and ugly, you just forget about everything and just look at how good and wonderful and perfect the person is when actually the person is full of flaws..sad but true..you're just soo blinded that you dont see anything and all..it feels as tho you're on cloud nine but actually you're on a cloud nine that isnt real at all because you're not opening your eyes, rahter you're in a dream that isnt true at all..a make believe one because you're soo blinded by that persons flaw that even you yourself dont realize and someone else has to point out to you to tell you this and that...
Sometimes its really hard to believe what the person said but its true..They say that love is blind and it really is because you dont really see the ugly side of it and all you see is the nice wonderful perfect side..its sad really sad
Yesterday, i met my ex-lover/crush/person that i like..whatever you wanna call it. It wasnt easy for me trust me..because honestly, when i was sick, all that i've been thinking about was that person and no one else.i kept thinking about what would have happened if i didnt do this, we could be this if that didnt happen...all the ifs and whys and stupid me came out of my head and it just brought my brain into a wild frenzy of possibilities that could've happened if i just controlled myself..it was hard cause i still had feelings for that person when i saw that person...i mean i tried to avoid that place where the person usually hangs out but no Priya insisted on bringing me there assuring me that that person would not be there and i soo knew that something bad was gonna happen that day in the morning and true enough it really did..Priya thinks that i have good intuition hahaa..whatever you call it..i still have really fond feelings for that person everytime i think about the past now..and although i've tried to not communicate with that person, the persons name just keeps flashing in my head and the face and everything..damn it isnt easy its just soo hard..i just wanna tell that person "come on baby we aint gonna live 4ever, let me show you all the things that we could do. You know you wanna be together' I really wanna be with this person but its just soo wrong and i just cant but i want to..
now im trying my very best to forget about this person but it aint easy at all it really isnt...sigh i derno what to do with my life..why when i want things to not happen they just happen..at the wrong times..i was on the verge of forgetting but i just had to meet that person
ok now on the happy side..me and Priya are progressing really well..i mean we're still ex best friends but its moving faster then i thought which is good cause i really want us to be like we were before..and im proud of our progress and our frankness with one another its really good..Maybe its because she read my blog hahaahha..but whatever the case is im happy that she did and she's willing to change..it takes 2 hands to clap so yes im gonna change as well..Change isnt easy but if you're willing to take the chance, why not take a crazy chance. You never know whats gonna happen and until you try it you will never know..i've tried it and im happy about everything so yes rock on and i hope that we move even further than we were before because i see our friendship escalating to greater heights and its gonna be a long one, one that we will never forget for the rest of our lives tho we may part after school and everything
TO that person you're everything im not
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