WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (: I had therapy today and it was freaking awesome! let me just say that i feel alive again lol and yes the old me is hopefully back LOL (:i havent had this much fun in ages man! Yeah loser working life sucks but you know what? Its just the way its going to be and i'll probably have to go through this whole phase again at a later point in time. But till that time draws near, i think im just going to be contented with where i am right now and the people around me. it was amazing wheeeeeeeee (:
"Are you even listening when i talk to you?
Do you even care what im going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but its like you never knew me
Do you know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
Im so mad at you right now
and i cant even find the words
Cause you're on the way down
I hope you CRASH and BURN..."
thats all that i can say about you. So now that you're back you act as tho i dont exist. Great! You know what? I didnt need you before, i still dont need you now. I honestly cannot be bothered doing anything related to you at all. Your lies and deceit continue to surpass all expectations i had about anything at all. You disappoint me time after time.
I hate your guts and everything you do. Fine dote on your little angel for all i care. Honestly i cannot picture whats in your mind because its just a castle in the sky. An imaginary future that is probably never going to come true. Yes the world is unfair, but thats just the way it works, lifes a bitch. And with people around like you in my life, it just adds to the joy that i face everyday. Thanks for making my life a picture perfect world. Oh wait im sorry but i guess i dont exist in it, my bad!
Your little angel is just too wonderful for words.
I dont even know where i am in my life now? Im so confused about everything and school starting just instantaneously after SIP isnt really helping that much. I feel that i've got no space to breathe at all. Coming back to school wasnt something i looked forward to well not entirely, i did miss it but going back to what i left behind trying to forget every bad memory that i had was the best thing that happened to my life! Facing it again isnt something that im really excited about. Seeing people that i had differences with also isnt something that im proud of.
I must admit that i miss all of them really i miss the times we spent together. Right now its just a distant memory that probably wont be a dream come true anytime soon. I dont see what we had before coming back again to me. I guess thats just the way it was you know? Once a friend im sorry you're nothing more, that will never change? Its not just one of them but a whole group of them. I used to not be able to count my friends, and by that i dont mean just those hi-bye ones but those i can really talk to, but right now i can probably count them in the palm of my hands. Its just sad.
I was really happy to leave all those behind you know but i didnt wanna face it at all. I was contented with where my life was, but coming back to school was just something i didnt really think about? It really didnt come across my mind at all. Well at least im thankful i've made new friends that replaced the old ones, well not replaced but at least i can talk to them and be there for them. Its a cycle i guess, the wheel of the world. You make some new friends, then you lose some and then you make some again? thats just how the world works i guess. One thing thats changed is also that i treasure those around me more than ever and im trying to get as close as i can with them, to understand them as much as i can and to share everything i have with them. They are all i got and thats all that really matters, the quality is more important than the quality (:
"God put us here on this carnival ride.
We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next.
Babies are born, and at the same time, someone's taking their last breath."
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