You're killing me by the minute really..i dont know why but everywhere i go i see you, eveerything i do i think of you. Not something i really would want to do but its really stuck in me. Obviously it only really hit me only after i lost you.
Why is this happening to me? i get more and more depressed by the day and im just so jaded everyday...i look forward to school now, i wouldnt say that i love it but at least its bearable with everyone around me especially people in my class like, sy, wl, amanda, and wine around who are always there..but i just cant get out of where i am now..
Its easier said then done..let go..well im sorry obviously thats not gonna work right now..
it took me a year to get over my past experience, i wonder how long it will take for this to end and actually finish. That thing i had before was only for a month this one was for a year. Correct me if im wrong but i took 1 year to get over something that happened in a month, so theoratically speaking 1 month=12 months, 12 months=12 monthsx12 months = 144 months? and 144 months is 12 years SHIT thats f***ing long i hope that doesnt happen..
You're ruining my life right now and its in a complete mess! i hate you!!!!!!!!! why did i have to bother feeling what i felt when i knew that it was gonna be a f***ing waste of time???my brain was obviously not working..its just a complete f***ed up place!!!
i really thought i could let you go easily, apparently thats not working well for me, apparently my whole life has been revolving about you, even when i talk to people i talk to them about you..do you know how scary that is?now i cant even try and forget anything that ever happened because its just stuck in my mind, whether its subconsciously or not...the truth is i thought it was a small thing, but i guess it isnt..but feck cares now?
its freaking over!!!!!!
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i really thank God for all my friends really..like Em, Kandy, Mike..who's always there to listen to me and what i have to say, without them, my life wouldnt be where it is right now..like they've always heard what i had to say and you know like they are there during my lowest moments in life..and also of course not forgetting, rachel, amanda and wine (: i really love you guys heaps you know..i mean i can really tell you guys everything and you'll never judge at all and just listen..of course with the occassional scolding but yes haha its normal but nonetheless you guys are heaps fun and such great friends i dont know what i'd do without you guys (: thanks rachel for always listening and understanding..thanks wine for always picking out stuff and helping me..and thanks amanda for just being there (: you're always a message away even tho it may cost you 10cents LMFAO hahaha thanks!!!
everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings
i feel so small
i guess i need you baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face
its haunting me
i guess i need you baby..
After so long, sometimes you finally realize that you're reaching out for something that you can never get..but sometimes, its too little too late when you find out..it breaks your heart and you cant just help but cry and feel like your life is falling apart.
Less heartbreaking it may seem compared to what other people go through, they say that everyone is different so i guess you cant really play the judge and say whos gone thru a bigger blow than you. BUt nonetheless a blow and let down is a blow and let down and it will never change.
I've tried so hard to hold on tight to something that wasnt there, something that i thought existed. Something that i had hope in. Now i know its all over.. Thanks for being there for me..
Hopefully now i can move on with my life and find someone else thats better or something like that. Its been great what we went thru, i will definetly remember all the times we had together. Only the happy ones anyways we never had bad ones..i guess you werent the right one for me..
But now i've let you go,
Im holding back the tears
Im here alone
Forgetting all the years
And now theres nothing i can do to bring you back to me..
So we live our different lives
Its so hard
And theres no more you and i..
And im missing you tonight
But we're worlds apart
pissed..i hate rodger federer with a passion!why why why poor poor andy ):
Australian open this year is a complete let down, Justine didnt play due to her personal issues in life which meant complication for her and now she's no longer Justine Henin-Hardenne, but she's Justine Henin. Andy Roddick lost the semis, kim lost as well, and so did nicole..psssh what is the world coming to? pissed and that amazon lady is in..like seriously just look at her omg grosss!!now my only hopes are sharapova and haas..all they way people !!!!!!
OMG the way they say OMG an UNSEEDED player has entered the finals of the Australian Open, for the first time in bla bla bla bla bla..who f***ing cares honestly..you know the thing is that its not as if she's new to tennis or that she has never entered a grand slam final before..dudes she's won the aus open before and any other grand slam final. Just because she's making a come back and hasnt played for a long time doesnt mean she's not good and she's not capable of reaching the finals. She is after all a winnner and world number 1 for countless times which means she has the capability of coming back and winning..its amazing how people think she's all new to tennis and has never played in a final before and she's unseeded..so what big deal?
anyways..having fish & co in 2 consecutive days for dinner is no joke..nonetheless always count on ryan to finish all your food for you. Finished my own Creamy Penne with mussels and half of a new york fish and chips and sword fish collar ahha..yay go me..im on the verge of being fat..im now 61 kgs compared to last year say around oct? i was just merely 54 and now i like omg fat..i swear i need to lose weight ahha i kid..wel its good lar im getting fatter its a good thing (:
so yes im stuck with accounting..omg someone kill me..
till next time people,
everything is f'ed up straight from the heart..
tell me what do you do when it all falls apart
Pheeeeeewwwww is all i can say today hahaha..finally after soo much preparation, its finally over haha..and what is this that i may be talking about, its family law..well we have been meeting and reasearching for soo many weeks ok not that many but yes many days..oh the cases that we read that saved our lives hahaha..thank goodness for Soon peck wah!!!! props go out to you man! seriously! you completely saved our lives..hahaha one thing i'll never forget...
"interim child custody"
LOL haha it will always be stained in my memory and it will never leave me!
we had the chat room today and yest as well..really fun, talking to students and telling them what we really do in law..however, i've been repeating the same thing over and over again for i derno how many times but nevertheless i'll still continue doing it no matter what! law rocks eh! soo much team spirit and bonding between us law people..soo fun (:
after our fam law presentation, we decided to head down to tm and go to pasta mania for lunch..as usual the food was crap hahaha but meh it was the company that really mattered aight? after that we decided to play a little air hockey hahaha.. BOYS RULE AND GIRLS SUCK...hahaha well not all girls maybe but the people we played against did..LOL and then oh we played daytona hahahaha and i got 1st YAY that means i can drive soo excitied lol
ok so after that we decided to you know celebrate everything that we went thru together, so we had a group outing at fish & co. The food was damn nice lar hahaha but we ordered a little too much, ok maybe not that little but heaps too much. it was too many too much..right hahahahahaha vic, wine, shi ying, rach, wl, amanda and me had soo much fun eating and laughing and more eating because there was just soo much food ahha i ate soo much i almost died..we ordered 3 platters for 2 and 2 fish and chips plus our starters..i ate one full fish and chips and shared a platter for 2 with wine and vickie hahaha soo fulll
after that we went shopping and we went to hmv and OMG they were playing the veronicas' cd AHHHHHHHHHHHHH me and rach were singing along ahhaha and then we cam "prostituted" LOL hahahaha
it was a really really really really great day (: had soo much fun!
cant upload pics yet cam no batt must charge hahaha
till next time..
accepto que no puedos volver!
i havent updated in ages goodness lol hahaa..okok i'll start with last thursday cause that was what i wanted to blog about but just didnt have the time to.
ok so thursday was the day haha finally (: M.A.S met up again well i derno if we're still M.A.S but yes we met up without a few people but it was fun (: rah's bf was there too..and she was like can you all talk to him, make friends with him and take him out please cause he has not friends in sg at all..it was hilarious..as usual i was the earliest, so typical of all my friends..sometimes one tries so hard just to be like the rest of the group, but it just doesnt work out..lol i tried i really tried to be late but it was only 15 mins that i could do..sigh its just sad lol..
tere and eman came first and i was patiently waiting for them. tere told me to call mich and ask her where she was.. when i called her it kept saying the singtel mobile subscriber is currently unavailable please try again later, countless txt's that were sent out didnt get returned, we hoped the worst that she wasnt coming. Still with hopes that she would turn up, we patiently waited at the station for her. We tried calling mich's home as well but she was not home so we were quite confused and puzzled, thinking that she might have been pissed or something thats why she didnt turn up or it was because her batt died. However rah turned up instead with her bf..and it was like1 hour sorry 2 hours past our meeting time cause they changed it and didnt inform me psssh so we were like fine haha lets just go somewhere to chill first before the buffet starts. While at starbucks, mich called haha..and thankfully her batt died as we suspected..so yeah she said that she would join us (:
food food food, eat eat eat, drink green tea and eat more sushi, but for rah was like eating ingredients hahah and she hid the rice below SHHHHHHHH hahaha but yes we tried to squeeze the rice thing into the gaps LMAO..and we succeeded (: its was basically a fun time talking and stuff catching up on the lost years and telling everyone how our lives was and how great it was to meet everyone again. We did have good times together in our earlier years but i guess everyone was just so caught up with their lives they dont really have much time for each other. But whatever it was we were together again and thats all that matters. So we interrogated mich when she came haha and she finally confessed!!!!!! and rah was sooo smart she already guessed what was going on. and while doing that she was still stufffing rice all over the place. but sadly we got caught when we paid the bill..so we had to say that the rice was stale and it was disgusting..which was partly true but who cares lol..
aimless we walked around town and decided to watch either blood diamond or wicker man, but most of us there were too scared that we'd pee in our pants to watch wicker man so we flipped a coin and everyone was praying for blood diamond's side to come up and it did ahhaha..2 of tere's and emans friends came along, well one of them was my friend as well and yeah the movie was really really really good..wow its really thought provoking and it makes you feel like doing something, although i know that its highly impossible for me to do anything because im too f***ing lazy to do anything..whhich by the way was one of my new year's resolution to not be f***ing lazy lol right so yes i did an article about blood diamonds for my world issues essay ok ahaha see i did something! anywhos yeah we just hung out for a while and then later parted our ways and yes im the ONLY one who freaking takes the green line!!!!!!!!!! i swear im gonna move to like the central area when i grow up, thats if i dont migrate to some god forsaken country or get kicked out of singapore. but yes i wanna move to the central its soo much more convenient!!!!! it was a good day ahha a very good one indeed (:
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the next day was spent shoopping haha i went to buy tennis shoes whooot and yes vicki owes me more money YAY hahaha (: but i was soo tired that day..and i cant rmb what happened already..oh yes priya was diseased and she was spreading it around
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monday was a good day! i finally broke up with priya and steph..this is what went on..
Ryan: Priya, all the times that we had together were amazing you know, you're such a great person to be with and..and this isnt going to work out between us, it just isnt is.
Priya: what?
Ryan: i dont wanna pretend so this is the end of you and me, cause the guy that you want, he was tearing us apart. Cause he's everything i'm not. so yes thats the end.
Ryan: Stephie, your'e a really amazing person you know, you're really great and everything but this just isnt gonna work out between us it just isnt is. its you and not me.
Steph: no i promise i'll change for the better i really will..
Ryan: im sorry but its just too little too late, a little too wrong and i cant wait..so yes have a great life..
LMFAO hahahaha thats all i have to say about that and yes it actually took place its not fake!
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ok its been raining every freaking day and im sick now thanks alot! but yes i woke up today to get ready to send eman off to the army but didnt get a chance to cause i was about to leave the house but i didnt know where he was so i didnt wanna end up being a fool standing there by myself with all the pre-army people so yeah it was too little too late but its alright at least i said my goodbyes..well im sure we'll all catch up soon after he comes out 2 weeks later or something!
OMG Im going to UK with my school YAY HAAHAHAHAHHA im soo happy..
till next time yall,
I am happy here living my dreams,
cause i where i wanna be..
Top 50 Songs that were released in 2006
50. Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind
49. Teddy Geiger - For You I Will (Confidence)
48. The Pussycat Dolls - I Don't Need A Man
47. Nelly Furtado - Man Eater
46. Fergie - Fergalicious
45. Justin Timberlake ft. T.I. - My Love
44. Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
43. Lady Sovereign - Love Me Or Hate Me
42. Ciara - Promise
41. Aly & Aj - Chemicals React
40. Paris Hilton - Nothing In This World
39. Ciara - Get Up
38. Beyonce - Ring The Alarm
37. Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know
36. Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
35. Hilary Duff - Play With Fire
34. Anthony Callea - Live For Love
33. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
32. Rihanna - Unfaitful
31. The Pussycat Dolls ft. Will.I.Am - Beep
30. Rihanna - S.O.S (Rescue Me)
29. Ashley Parker Angel - Let U Go
28. Cassie - Me & You
27. Beyonce ft. Jay-Z - Deja Vu
26. Nick Lachey - I Can't Hate You Anymore
25. Cassie - Long Way To Go
24. Jesse McCartney - Right Where You Want Me
23. Jojo - How To Touch A Girl
22. Fergie - London Bridge
21. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
20. Ryan Cabrera - I Will Remember You
19. Kelly Clarkson - Walk Away
18. Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous
17. Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens - Breaking Free
16. Katharine McPhee - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
15. Sugababes - Follow Me Home (Amelle Mix)
14. Nick Lachey - What's Left Of Me
13. The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
12. Beyonce - Irreplaceable
11. Kaci Brown - Instigator
10. Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One
9. Katharine McPhee - My Destiny
8. The All-American Rejects - Move Along
7. The Pussycat Dolls - Buttons
6. The Veronicas - Revolution
5. Ryan Cabrera - Photo
4. The Veronicas - Leave Me Alone
3. The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart
2. Jojo - Too Little Too Late
1. The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not
Top 75 songs of 2006 - This is totally different from the one above.
75. Hilary Duff - Wake Up
74. Lady Sovereign - Love Me Or Hate Me
73. Justin Timberlake ft. T.I. - My Love
72. Paris Hilton - Nothing In This World
71. Hilary Duff - Play With Fire
70. Repeat Offender - To A Modern Love
69. Steven Childs ft. Jessica Origliasso - Red 4 U
68. Storm Large - Lady Like
67. Repeat Offender - Red 4 U
66. Toby Rand - Throw It Away
65. Repeat Offender - Smaller & More Effecient
64. Kaci Brown - Make You Love Me
63. Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
62. Jojo - Note To God
61. Hilary Duff - Someone's Watching Over Me
60. Tammin - Whatever Will Be
59. Repeat Offender - Broken Wings
58. Jojo - Exceptional
57. Ciara - Get Up
56. Cassie - Me & You
55. Jojo - Leave (Get Out)
54. Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
53. Anthony Callea - Live For Love
52. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
51. Beyonce ft. Jay-Z - Deja Vu
50. Nick Lachey - I Can't Hate You Anymore
49. The Veronicas - A Teardrop Hitting The Ground
48. Cassie - Long Way To Go
47. The Veronicas - How Long
46. Jesse McCartney - Right Where You Want Me
45. Jojo - How To Touch A Girl
44. Fergie - London Bridge
43. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
42. Ryan Cabrera - I Will Remember You
41. Kaci Brown - SOS
40. The Veronicas - Speechless
39. Howie Day - Collide
38. Kate DeAraugo - Faded
37. The Veronicas - I Could Get Used To This
36. The Veronicas - Mother Mother
35. Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous
34. Ryan Cabrera - True
33. Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens - Breaking Free
32. The Veronicas - Did Ya Think
31. Ryan Cabrera - From The Start
30. Katharine McPhee - Somewhere Over The Rainbow
29. The Veronicas - Secret
28. The Afters - Beautiful Love
27. Sugababes - Follow Me Home (Amelle Mix)
26. Ryan Cabrera - Shine On
25. Hilary Duff - Fly = Last Years Number 1
24. Lifehouse - You And Me
23. Nick Lachey - What's Left Of Me
22. The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
21. The Veronicas - Stay
20. Beyonce - Irreplaceable
19. Kaci Brown - Instigator
18. Delta Goodrem - Together We Are One
17. Katharine McPhee - My Destiny
16. The All-American Rejects - Move Along
15. The Pussycat Dolls - Buttons
14. Jojo - Too Little Too Late (Spanish Version)
13. The Veronicas - Heavily Broken
12. Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
11. The Veronicas - Revolution
10. Ryan Cabrera - Photo
9. Kaci Brown - Unbelievable
8. The Veronicas - Mouth Shut
7. The Veronicas - Leave Me Alone
6. The Veronicas - Nobody Wins
5. Ryan Cabrera - Fall Baby Fakk
4. The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart
3. Jojo - Too Little Too Late
2. The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not
1. The Veronicas - 4ever
Top 10 Albums of 2006
10. Yellowcard - Lights And Sounds
9. Beyonce - B'day
8. Repeat Offender - To A Modern Love
7. Kaci Brown - Instigator
6. Jesse McCartney - Right Where You Want Me
5. Nick Lachey - What's Left Of Me
4. The All-American Rejects - Move Along
3. Jojo - The High Road
2. Ryan Cabrera - You Stand Watching
1. The Veronicas - The Secret Life Of The Veronicas
Top 10 Released Movies of 2006
10. Eragon
9. Tristan & Isolde
8. Step Up
7. Rumour Has It
6. Material Girls
5. Click
4. The Devil Wears Prada
3. The Last Kiss
2. Aquamarine
1. She's The Man
good shows not mentioned:
Jarhead
Brokeback Mountain
Proof
Yours Mine & Ours
When A Stranger Calls
Its amazing how fast one year can pass by you without you even knowing that its been a year, or should i say maybe last year was a year that just swept by so quickly that you didnt feel that it was a year at all..thats all in a days work, that you feel you've been so busy to actually realize that time is passing by faster than you really think it is, that time never waits for anyone at all and it just keeps on moving. I never seem to realize that time passes by so quickly when you're actually doing something, and yet i regret not making more time for myself to actually sit there and think of everything that i've done over the past year. Whether what i've done in my life is actually something that im proud of and happy to tell everyone about. So many things have happened last year and im actually glad everything did. Its been a great 2006 and im happy to have everyone that i care for around me and to finally really put 2005 behind me as well, something that affected my life in a somewhat great measure, something like a scar that will never heal, well thats what i thought it would be but im happy that 2006 put it behind me and im happy with the way things are right now..
a few things i've learnt over the past year, more like thresholds in my life, it happened it specific months actually lol, march, june, september, december. In march, i've realized that im not the person that i really was, i thought i would never go to places that are below me, not that i look down on them or anything, but it just didnt dawn on me that there was a need to go there, but the funny thing was that i had a good time i really did, and i had a great time with my parents, finally spent sometime that i really needed to. And also my relationship with my fellow veronicas fans grew more intense day by day.
June, i went for a mission trip in Chiang Mai that really changed my life as well. i've been to heaps of those but its just differnet this one, maybe its because i went with a whole group of my close friends, my youths. It was a great eye opener and it really made me think about my life and how fortunate i am to be living in sg..and my heart really goes out to all the people there that just live so simple lives and yet they are so happy. It brings me joy to see them smile when you do something sooo small for them, to Singaporeans its nothing at all, but to them its like the whold world and it really touched my heart (:
In September, i really let go of everything that pulled me down since 2005 and i was finally free from everything. AND i went to the best place in the entire world (: AUSTRALIA hahahaha it was a much awaited trip that i thoroughly enjoy and i was really happy that i went. A much needed vacation that really helped me alot and again it made me think about what i wanted to do ahhaa, i thought alot this year LOL its a good thing (:
December brought about joy, bonds, love, peace and harmony. Cliche as it may sound this christmas was something really special. It was like magic..the play brought the whole youth closer to one another and i really treasure each and every member, they are such great people that no matter what amount of time you spend with them, you know that you'll never get sick of them or get bored of anything, theres just soo much to talk about and so much to do. The play was a huge success and it brought so many hearts together and it touched so many lives and im glad that i was in it with such a great cast and such a great director and such a great script writer its just so amazing..im proud of everyone! we worked hard and we did our very best (:
Well i've already made my resolutions and i put my past behind and now im moving on towards a new year, i know that this will be an awesome kick arse year! so many wonderful things happening and im soo excited i cannot wait!
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