These are the only things that keep me living (: i really wouldnt know what i'd do without them.
i really really love the oc! its the most amazing show ever! And Rachel Bilson <3
my friends esp katie (: i love you and you're amazing! you NEVER NEVER fail to make me laugh and you always entertain me all the time! You're sooo f***ing funny! and you're the sweetest person ever! and you really really know how to rock out on guitar its amazing! Thanks for always being there and listening to me..when im down you really really pick me up! and all my other friends as well! you guys kick arse!
and my ipod which i cant listen to but i treasure it with all my life! whooo (:
and food!!!
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Jess is a f***ing C***! she can kiss my ass for all i care!!! she's a bitch!!!
ok im done (:
im happy (:
Remember To Remember
Time, is like a winding road you can never know
Where it goes
I hope you find,
What you're looking for
And that life is kind to you
I hope that,
Someday you'll think of me,
When you think back
And as we walk across this lifetime
Leaving behind what used to be.
I hope you stop and smile
Think of you and i
And the dreams we dared to dream
Remember to remember
You and me..
I'll look back on us with tenderness, no regrets
Cause in my mind
Here in the worst of times
Were the best I ever had
I know that
I'll always think of you
When I think back
And as we walk across this lifetime
Leaving behind what used to be
I hope you stop and smile
Think of you and i
And the dreams we dared to dream
Remember to remember
You and me
As time unwinds,
Will you think of me,
Will you think of me,
Think of you and me
Its so hard to get something taken away from you, what more something that you really love and is close to your heart, say a dear friend, your teddy bear that you cuddle to sleep at night, your fav movies. And it just hurts day after day, that you know that its gone and it can never come back to you..thats what im feeling right now.
To have something taken away from me, something that i shared my joy, sadness, my happiness, and everything that i went thru, this thing was always there. When i was sad it just made me happier and theres always a specific something to suit my moods.
I really dont know how im gonna last this journey but i know that for me to carry on, to be a better person, i know i need this to be taken away from me. So that i can grow and be different, to be something that i've been working for. I apologize if during this phase that im going thru i may say things to you to bring you down but i just cant fall back on this thing that i lost and im really lost right now and i really even dont know what to say anymore, to myself or to anyone.
Everything that ive worked for is just gone like that. The time and the effort, all wasted..half the night i just waste in sighs on my bed listening to the quietness of the night. Walks home have become so quiet it scares me sometimes late at night. I used to be brave, to be able to handle things but now im even scared of going home at night because its taken away from me. Normally i couldnt care less whats going around me while walking home, but now every single detail startles me and it worries me..
8 more days in counting, i just need 8 more days pull me thru these 8 days and i hope that i'll be fine.. (:
In life, we all have to go thru many things and one things for sure that we all go thru is change. Be it for better of for worse, everyone has to go thru it and sometimes, the more we try to avoid it, the more it will haunt us.
With change brings about new beginnings and new eras and it means to forget about the past and start afresh again. Well not necessarily forgetting everything from the past but yeah you get my point.
Watching too much O.C is amazing! it brings back so many memories, memories that i had since the day i started watching O.C and fell in love with it instantaneously..ok anyways yes its the greatest show on earth right ammar?
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Change brings about new friends, a new environment, a new class..im excited and yet afraid of whats gonna happen, things not being the same as before..i guess its a goood thing. Im happy im moving on and getting to meet new people. Thats cool and just leaving the past behind..
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been busy going out, buying stuff, and just being with the people that are really there, and really sorting out the rotten apples in the basket, taking out the bad ones. And yes we all have bad apples in our baskets, and sometimes you just gotta leave those bad apples behind and move on in life. Just like friends, you gotta know whos good for you and whos not, those that will be there for you no matter what and those that couldnt really care less about you at all. Those are the ones that you dont want to carry in your basket. The only thing they really do is bring you lower and lower and you find that you just cannot grow at all because they stump your growth. It can be hard losing friends and all but if you know what you want in life and you're focused on what you want, im sure you'll manage, isnt that what you always say to me? well im sorry i dont really work that way. Its difficult to leave people behind, i try to pull them along most of the time or well i try to until i really really cannot take it..Its funny how sometimes you can be so wrong about certain people. But sometimes you really just gotta let go. As much as you love someone, if that person continues to disappoint you time after time, why do you still wanna hold on to something that isnt there at all? You treat people so insignificantly, like they are just shadows staring back at you. You laugh and joke and pretend that nothings happening when you know you're hurting deep down inside, but you just put on a facade to try to make people think you're alright..
What you're going thru right now, is something that you brought upon yourself. I saw this day coming, i knew this day would come. It was just a matter of time. Prolong it you may, but time will always catch up with you and suck you in and then you'll finally realize that this is the hour. Now is the time when me and you dont exist in the same world anymore..
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You were amazing, everything i ever wanted, you had. Everything that everyone wasnt, you were. I thought you were special, but you turned out to be so different. You've changed too much, and i dont know if change is something that i want to accept, coming from you. Why are you doing this to everyone around you? Why cant you be more mature about everything? Why cant you just not say anything and let people say what they wanna say. It's their mouths/hands(when they type) not yours. You can never control what they say no matter how hard you try. Its just you against the world. Do you even think that you can take that?
I love you, i really do. But what you did was just too much for me to take. Its the hardest thing for me to do, and i just had to do it. Letting you go was the best option. The Best chance for me to move on. You were my life, but now you're just a memory, engraved in my mind and in my heart. You will always have a special place deep down inside of me.
And as we walked across this lifetime,
Leaving behind what used to be.
I hope you stop and smile think of you and i
And the dreams we dared to dream...
Remember to remember,
You and me..
Its so funny to see all of you having fun together in your small little clique!! so cute (:
laughing and joking together. And when someone comes on you just totally shut up. But however when someone comes in you totally change and suck up to that person and act as tho you've been best friends with that person forever? sick bastards, you guys think that you're f***ing angels saying that you'll never do this cause its not you and what not but behind someones back, you stab that person as tho theres no tomorrow. Its actually amusing and i find it extremely hilarious!
Wow you think you're the coolest people of all? once you've formed your own little "group" you actually ditch your other friends. And God knows what you say/do behind their backs now. haha i pity your "ex-friends", and my heart goes out to them!
You think you dont hurt anyone in your little games, trying to own everything around you, trying to take control over everything. BUt you've got no idea whos hurt in the process at all. Its not only the person that you talk bad about, but the people who's friends with the victim that gets hurt to! you dont know how hurtful it is to see your friend get hurt and you can do nothing about it because everyone around you overpowers you and you cant say anything back because its no use.
I really thought you were different, all of you, but it turns out that you're all skanky people that only know how to suck up! ASS WIPERS!!! why not you take your boot-licking skills and bring them somewhere else say up your own ass! cause honestly the world doesnt need people like you.
I wonder how long you guys will last together, you might end up stabbing each other until all of end up in great depression. Well i still hope the best for you!
And i have one word for you, you turned out to be someone who i thought would never become. I thought you were an amazing person and you were really different from the rest, but it turns out you're rotten and all you care about is your f***ing self. F*** YOU! i hate you right now you bitch! i thought you were special really special, but you f***ing sl**face c**t, you really disappointed me..
maybe theres beauty in goodbye...
okok here are some of them, these are just basically with me and friends, i'll upload the ones with the nice scenes and all later aight!
united colours of benetton (:
I'm missing UK so much I'm having withdrawal syndromes..seriously.. OHOHOH but i just got reminded by ammar that YES THE BURGER WE HAD IN THE LONDON BAR WAS F***ING GOOD I SWEAR IT WAS THE BEST I'VE EVER TASTED MAN IT WAS SERIOUSLY DAMN GOOD OK!!!WORDS CANT DESCRIBE IT (:
not having to eat chinese food 24-7 and being away from those eeeky shops in sg made me so happy (: i cant understand why im still at home eating chinese food man, im like dying and trying to kill myself by eating maccas everyday already. That break from chinese food really brought life back into me again (: . I really cant understand why some people actually crave it when they are in uk and all they think about is just that, it just puzzles me sometimes that this occurs. i mean if you're thinking of going overseas to study, this is the life man, deal with it? its just 10 days come on how you gonna spend 3-4 years like that? hmm maybe you should think twice about that then huh? shouldnt you?
When i had chinese food in the uk, which was onnly 1 meal, i personally thought that it was extremely horrible. worst i've ever tasted and yeah didnt like it at all..
anyways back to uk..OMG I MISS THE WEATHER (: i really really wanna go back there again. and the grass is soo amazingly soft to sit on and touch LOL. ohoh and the people there are really nice. well some of them are and some arent but THE FOOD IS SOOOO GOOD (: i love maccas in uk (: i swear i can eat it everyday. I was obsessed with the Quarter pounder that they had in maccas in aus and when i went to uk, somehow i knew that they would have it there, and what surprised me more was that they had a DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER!!!! my eyes and mouth went crazy LOL ahhaha i was like YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS im SOOOOO getting that man, i told shahira that.. lol i loved it, it was amazing, enough said!!!.
So yes BK was amazing too me and shahira particularly loved the fries there, it was soo good and just yeah soo good.
People say that when you go to uk you must try the fish and chips and boy are they f***ing good haha way way way better than the ones they have in sg man..it even beats fish & co. somewhere that i adore and yet i still think uks better (: urmmm i love the shopping!!!! PRIMARK I MISS YOU SOO MUCH LMFAO..urm and MY ZARA perfume thing ): im soo sad but oh well...and GAP ahhahahaha i love gap and oh boots where we bought so many things from and yeah they are quiet cheap eh? if you live in England, AHHHHHHHHHH..ok that was for you AMMAR (:
urm oh and i had a Guinness steak & mushroom pie..YUMMMMM it was soo f***ing good LOL hahaha amazing amazing stuff man!!!
ok enough about food im getting hungry..
okok well i just miss uk ok? and i just wanted to talk about it more..im tired so im going to sleep now..
i'll post pics really soon aight!
These past few days have made me think alot about us, about where we're going..
i really really wanna tell you how i feel but im scared.
i dont really know whats gonna happen
i know that you're not like any other girl
i really do and you're so special to me
i dont really care what you may think but im never gonna stop liking you, not right now
i've missed you so much
no words can ever describe the way i feel
i wish i could go down and be with you these 2 weeks
i really really want to fly down to be there with you
you mean so much to me..
hello everyoneeee
i just got back from uk (: it was so exciting going around the uni's to visit and look at how the living/studying conditions are over there on the other side of the world. And i must say that the climate and environment in the uk is jolly good (Puts on a British accent) LOL yeah haha it was really really fun and i had heaps of fun and enjoyed myself thoroughly. Special shout outs going out to Shahira, Pirya, Halim, Ammar, Jo and James..you guys are f***ing funny LMAO ahhahaha all the times we had taking the bus and what not..oh and sab and gang too wild people LOL
well primark was probably the highlight of most of our trips but yeah i really really loved uk. its amazing..i really didnt wanna go back at all..to reality but oh well im back now and theres nothing i can do about it..
people really think they know you so well, they think they know you inside out, they think they know everything about you, every small little detail. I laugh when i think back because people think they know, but they really have no idea at all sometimes and they think so proudly of themselves, they think they are just cause your nose is bigger than mine doesnt mean you can step all over me..oh you think cause you can have the power to spend more money than i do and you're more high class than me means you're greater than me? think again, trust me i have the ability to bring you down to tears, to degrade you until theres nothing left of you, i just havent done it yet because i cant bring myself to. But after everything that happened i guess its time for me to show who i really am to you, to be my real self to you and not hide behind something anymore because you're not worth it at all. Unlike you, im not heartless and i do treasure my friends and if they cross the line, i dare tell them that they do and not silently just let them go away. Theres nothing left to save anymore..
There comes a point in time where you just move on and forget about the past and what happen and just put it behind somewhere in your brain. Maybe we'll be friends in the next lifetime or maybe years later, we'll see what happens..
P.S, this was already very toned down lest anything bad could happen..trust me..
i dont wanna pretend so this is really the end of you and me...
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