Its so hard to get something taken away from you, what more something that you really love and is close to your heart, say a dear friend, your teddy bear that you cuddle to sleep at night, your fav movies. And it just hurts day after day, that you know that its gone and it can never come back to you..thats what im feeling right now.
To have something taken away from me, something that i shared my joy, sadness, my happiness, and everything that i went thru, this thing was always there. When i was sad it just made me happier and theres always a specific something to suit my moods.
I really dont know how im gonna last this journey but i know that for me to carry on, to be a better person, i know i need this to be taken away from me. So that i can grow and be different, to be something that i've been working for. I apologize if during this phase that im going thru i may say things to you to bring you down but i just cant fall back on this thing that i lost and im really lost right now and i really even dont know what to say anymore, to myself or to anyone.
Everything that ive worked for is just gone like that. The time and the effort, all wasted..half the night i just waste in sighs on my bed listening to the quietness of the night. Walks home have become so quiet it scares me sometimes late at night. I used to be brave, to be able to handle things but now im even scared of going home at night because its taken away from me. Normally i couldnt care less whats going around me while walking home, but now every single detail startles me and it worries me..
8 more days in counting, i just need 8 more days pull me thru these 8 days and i hope that i'll be fine.. (: