"Its funny how you can be so wrong about someone, you think you know them, but they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought of them" - quote from some movie which i love (:
yeah but i mean sometimes its just that you really think you're friends with someone, or well at least you try to be but theres always something that you know they are hiding from you. They always assure you that its nothing when you know its something. They tell their other friends about it and stare at you while telling them.."oh everythings fine, really" is the usual reply you get from them.
Then i think again, why do i even bother? Honestly..i mean like i have a thousand and one things to think about rather than that but somehow, i just cannot get it off my mind and it annoys me. Well fake and pretentious people annoy me soooooo yeah maybe its all these people that do these things that are fake and pretentious, hence why they annoy me? lol i wouldnt know..
People change heaps, some say second changes work, some say they dont. You know what i think? if someone makes an effort to, you should at least give them a second chance. But if they really cannot be bothered at all, then dont bother and wallow in self pity.
I feel that my second chance was just wasted, yeah we talk and all but you know everything is so surface now. Like i used to be able to tell you stuff and everything and the same goes for you, but now i have to watch every single word i say, lest i avoid confrontation. I dont wanna say something that i know is going to hurt you, its hard and sometimes i just have nothing to say. Its just not the same anymore. I always tell my friends, well only terran mainly that when we fight, we always get closer and we understand each other better. Like just the other day, we fought majorly and it was quite a bad one, its usually me that gives in and i'll be the one that apologizes, but i was just too upset at what he said that i couldnt bare to even talk to him or look at him even. But he made the first move and said he wanted to talk to me. We kinda started talking and in the midst of talking, i kinda broke down cause i couldnt take it anymore. It hurts me to see him getting hurt somehow i dont know why, but i just do, strange but yes. Well he did hurt my friend, and she was extremely devastated and there was no way that i was going to forgive him for what he did, but somehow i just couldnt do it, i couldnt not forgive him..but in the midst of all the fighting and making things work out, we kinda got over that phase and now we're back to where we were before, tho we havent been close for the past 2 months, and it was mainly my fault but at least we're trying. And yes im sorry for the absence.
But between you and me, i really dont know what to do about us. Somehow i dont wanna see your face anymore. After all that you've done to me, i cant bare to see it. To think we had something, well it was just a complete joke to you apparently, but yeah i dont wanna dwell on that anymore. Its time for me to move on, for us to move on. Hopefully someday when i look at you, i'll be able to forgive you..
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